TILLA – My father died at 6 and when I was 13 I was constantly raped by my uncle | READ FULL
TILLA TAFARI shares her past and how her father died at 6 and she was raped at 13th . Read full post below
Part of healing is acceptance and telling the truth. I have been carrying some negative baggage for so many years now but it’s time to heal positively so I have to let it all out to free myself of all that negativity.
It all started when I lost my father when I was just 6years old. We were so attached that his death left me so empty and wishing for death. I grew up with this frustration in me and before I was 13 I was constantly raped by my uncle. I was a child at the time and didn’t even understand what was happening to me. He did it so much that I went to school and was rushed into surgery for ovarian cyst. He was very loved and respected by the whole family and he held a very high position in the government. I was scared to talk until now I have had the courage to speak up.
It only stopped when he went to prison for embezzlement and is still locked up till now but unfortunately I have been secretly dealing with these traumas for almost 20years now. This explains my anger tantrums and outbursts. I was a very happy child full of life. I was always the first in my class. I had so much hopes but all that was ripped away from me. Suddenly I changed and became wayward and very distant from my family. I may be attracted to the positive side of someone but will always end up choosing the toxic ones over the ones that love me genuinely. I even got addicted to marijuana at some point just to mask my reality.
Fast forward my choice in who to date haven’t been the best. I’ll leave a guy who really values me and my goals for a guy that treats me like crab cus I’ve gotten used to the toxic circles. Today I find myself in a position where I’m running away with my son from his own father just because I chose to stay with someone who had no value for me.
He has been violent and brutal with us on several occasions. I ran away with just the clothes I had on, so as my son. I took photos of the injuries he caused on my body and on my son but he quickly broke my phone, he threatened to slit his wrist with a knife and a blade and an overdose of pills. That was when I knew I had to leave by all means even though he tried to stop us from leaving by any means necessary which resulted in him punching us radically. My son and I were only saved by the neighbors who came to our rescue.
Right now I am in my mother’s house in Bamenda and I left everything behind but it’s all worth it cus our lives can never be replaced. I thought to keep it on the low but he keeps harassing me so I have taken the bold step to SPEAK UP! I haven’t been consistent with my career due to these reasons. I have been living in fear but the time has come for me to be free. I am freeing myself today of all the trauma and hate I feel in me. I refuse to let what happened in my past define how I live the rest of my life. I choose to live the life that God ordained for me not what the devil stole from me.
I choose to speak up not only for me but for all the women who may be in similar situations but don’t have the courage to speak up. NO TO RAPE! NO TO SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE! NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE !!! I AM FREEEEE!!!”
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